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Apparently, there’s a Republican congressman in Texas who is a bit confused about why slavery was bad, why cannabis should be decriminalized and why racist non-sequiturs make for ridiculously bad arguments.

Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Texas) made qu-WHITE the interesting anti-legal marijuana argument Tuesday during a hearing of the House Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, “which explored federal decriminalization and looked out state and local efforts on cannabis reform,” according to

“The product is being marketed, the product is being sold, the product is being advocated by people who are in it to make money,” Sessions said. “Slavery made money also, and was a terrible circumstance that this country and the world went through for many, many years.”

So, I have a number of questions.

First, WTF, sir?

Second, do these people buy their caucasity wholesale or from “White and Wrong” retail outlets? Sessions must have found himself a clearance sale somewhere.

Third, since when are Republicans anti-capitalism? Since when do they view people who are in things “to make money” as a negative?

Lastly, the most obvious question: What the hell does legalized cannabis have to do with slavery?

Does Pete Sessions think little kush buds are going to be auctioned off and sold away from their families? Does he think cannabis plants are going to be forced to work day and night in the cotton fields and that they will birth generations of future marijuana in chains? Is “marijuana” even the proper word? Maybe it’s “marijuaner” with the hard “R.” Are their house buds and field buds? Do we need to constantly worry about weed rebellions? Where’s the underground blunt-road? We must locate Harriet Budman and Nat Burner and end this uprising before it’s too late. Frederick Druglas must be stopped!

Besides the fact that Sessions is comparing a horrific institution—in which people were owned by other people, forced into labor and generational servitude, sold away from their families, stripped from their heritages, whipped, beaten and lynched—to the legalization of a product that involves none of those things, the Texas rep’s core argument makes no sense. “The product is being marketed, the product is being sold, the product is being advocated by people who are in it to make money,” could literally be applied to any product.

Is bar soap slavery? How about toothpaste? If I go to McDonald’s does that actually mean I bought a slave? Am I supporting slavery by having furniture in my home? Is my house a plantation by default?

Anyway, Birmingham Mayor Randall Woodfin was having none of Pete Sessions’ white conservative idiocy.

“Words matter…putting cannabis and slavery in the same category is patently offensive and flagrant,” Woodfin said in a response that should honestly win the “No Sh**, Sherlock” award for Captain Obvious responses to clear-as-day stupidity.

Sessions went on to conflate marijuana with every other illegal substance and anti-cop sentiment while also pretending to be interested in “facts.”


Sessions said he wished Tuesday morning’s hearing would have had “more facts of the case of the open harm to our children, to our communities, to this country …” that marijuana causes.

“Marijuana and drugs are crippling,” the congressman said. “They cause addiction, they cause crime and they cause mental issues.

“Today, I think it’s important for us to know as people that attack the police department – police are there to secure communities to save people from criminals and dangerous products,” the congressman continued, referring to Democrats who criticize police.

Sessions, of course, could have presented “facts” that prove cannabis is any more harmful than other products that also cause addiction, crime and mental issues, but instead, he spent his time comparing weed to chattel slavery. (Which reminds me—is alcohol slavery?) It’s almost as if he had no “facts” to back his narrative so he said something shocking and egregiously stupid to distract from that.

Then Pete Sessions segued into some “back the blue” nonsense while ignoring the fact that if cannabis was legalized or decriminalized, it would free police officers to stick to actual “criminals and dangerous products” instead of working to dismantle the institution of pot slavery.

It’s just wild how Republicans are pro-capitalism and pro-“the past is the past” in regard to slavery until it’s time to make erroneous arguments like this. It’s the dumbest anti-cannabis argument heard since Fox News’ Laura Ingraham tried to blame marijuana use for school shootings.

Final question: Why are conservatives trying to make Reefer Madness great again?


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