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One thing about conservatives: They do all of the same things Black people do in terms of social justicewe just do it way better.

For example, we have “critical race theory,” and they have “white replacement theory.” Our theory examines structural racial bias in systems that have existed in America since Black people were literally second-class citizens, and their “theory” revolves around white people’s fear that they will one day become a minority in America. (Not that minorities are mistreated in America, right?) Our theory influences a push toward true equality, and their “theory” influences mass shooters to kill Black people.

Another example: When we stage protests, it’s usually because a Black person has been killed by police unjustly, and if we don’t make a big deal out of it, cops will continue performing extrajudicial executions in the Black community with impunity. Granted, some of our protests, unfortunately, turn violent—while the vast majority don’t—but at least we protest over a tangible cause. Conservatives rioted at the U.S. Capitol, not because anything unjust happened, but because their president-slash-cult leader spent months spreading “stop the steal” propaganda regarding “voter fraud” that was demonstrably nonexistent during the 2020 election.

And now the same president, Donald Trump, has been indicted by a grand jury in Manhattan over an alleged hush money payment made to adult film star Stormy Daniels, conservatives are doing the thing they condemned for years when it was done by Black people and progressives: They’re calling to defund law enforcement.

But, once again, when many of us called to “defund the police” it was because Black people across the country are routinely and disproportionately policed, profiled, harassed and brutalized by cops, and that disproportionate mistreatment can and does lead to death. Conservatives, on the other hand, want to defund the entire FBI and U.S. Department of Justice because a single ex-president who stays drowning in scandals and criminal investigations was indicted over something he might be guilty of.

“We control the power of the purse… We’re gonna have to look at the appropriations process and limit funds going to some of these agencies, particularly the ones engaging in the most egregious behavior,” Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) said Sunday in response to the indictment during an appearance on Fox News.

“So the DOJ and the FBI?” Fox host Maria Bartiromo asked.

“Yeah,” Jordan answered. “And what I’d really like, frankly, I’d really like for the government to stay out of the election process.”

Wait—what election process? Jordan couldn’t possibly be talking about the government staying out of the election process that the man he’s defending, who once occupied the highest position in the federal government, tried to upend based on allegations of voter fraud presented with zero evidence in order to stay in power. Not that election process, right?

According to Rolling Stone, Jordan was referring to right-wing conspiracy theories that federal law enforcement was “spying” on Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. (They really do have the worst “theories.”)

Surprising to absolutely no one, in January, Jordan said this about calls to defund the police:

“We shouldn’t have this whole attitude about defund the police. I got a list of 20 jurisdictions that defunded the police to the tune of over $1 billion total. That’s a problem when you’re trying to attract the best to protect our communities.”

Besides the fact that Jordan’s allegations were mostly false because his “list” included proposed budget cuts from jurisdictions rather than actual cuts, it’s just hilarious that he thinks calls to defund the police on behalf of over-policed Black people everywhere constitutes a poor “attitude” towards law enforcement, but he’s ready to defund the largest law enforcement agencies in the country because one rich and once-powerful orangey-white man was indicted for a crime he may have committed.

Mind you, Jordan is just one out of a growing number of Republican officials who are now on board the “defund the law” train after declaring their party to be the “party of law and order.” In fact, these same officials have been calling to “defund the FBI” since Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida, was raided by the feds as part of an investigation into Trump’s handling of White House documents.

So, yeah, Republicans are only against defunding law enforcement when it comes to liberty and justice for all. (And by “all,” I mean Black and brown people.) They suddenly completely understand the movement when it comes to “liberty and justice” for Trump.

Again, we all do social justice work. Some of us just do it way better.


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